Therapist Sexual Feelings

Sexual attraction toward clients is common enough that most therapists will experience it at some point in their careers, yet it’s rarely addressed directly in training. This leaves many clinicians without language for something that, left unexamined, can develop into a genuine boundary violation.

The four books here work through this territory from different angles: comprehensive research and ethics, reflective practice within a specific therapeutic tradition, a practical protocol for managing attraction before it becomes a problem, and a clear-eyed look at what happens when boundaries are actually crossed. Read as a set, they move from the foundational research through prevention to the aftermath of violation.

This page contains Amazon affiliate links — if you buy a book through one, I earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Therapists’ Sexual Feelings and Fantasies: Research, Practice, Ethics, and Forensics

Kenneth S. Pope, Nayeli Y. Chavez-Dueñas, Hector Y. Adames, American Psychological Association, 2024

This book takes on a subject most clinical training still avoids: what therapists actually feel, sexually, about the people they treat. The book covers three distinct areas: sexual attraction to clients, including fantasies and arousal that therapists rarely admit to; the actual crossing of sexual boundaries, including consensual therapist-client relationships; and the forensic side, including how to serve as an expert witness in cases where therapist-client sex is at issue. It brings in power dynamics, gender, race, and sexual orientation as factors shaping these experiences, which earlier work in this field often left out.

Pope has published on this subject for over thirty years, and the field’s understanding of it has shifted substantially in that time — this book reads less like an update to his earlier work and more like a rebuild around what’s now known about power, identity, and consent that older texts didn’t fully address.

Buy on Amazon →

Working with Sexual Attraction in Psychotherapy Practice and Supervision: A Humanistic-Relational Approach

Edited by Biljana van Rijn and Jasenka Lukac-Greenwood, Routledge, 2020

This collection stays specifically within a humanistic-relational framework, treating sexual attraction as a normal part of the therapeutic relationship that needs open reflection rather than suppression or denial. It’s split into three sections covering clinical practice, supervision, and ethics. The ethics section doesn’t stop at what’s prohibited; it works through the murkier territory of attraction that never crosses a line but still needs to be understood and managed.

Several chapters look specifically at how sexual attraction surfaces in supervision itself, not just in the therapy room, which is a gap in a lot of the wider literature. Case examples run through all three sections rather than sitting in a separate chapter, so the reflective and the practical stay tied together throughout.

Some of the other titles on this page treat attraction primarily as a risk to be managed. This one treats it as clinical material worth understanding in its own right.

Buy on Amazon →

Sexual Attraction in Therapy: Managing Feelings of Desire in Clinical Practice

Michael Shelton, Routledge, 2020

Shelton’s argument is that damaging sexual behavior by therapists rarely happens suddenly. It follows a gradual process he calls the sexual decision cycle, and this book is built to help clinicians recognize where they are on that cycle before it’s too late. Chapters work through recognizing personal risk factors, managing arousal and fantasy, and using specific self-talk techniques to exit a sexual situation in the moment, alongside guidance on organizational and supervisory changes that make boundary violations less likely in the first place.

It’s the most explicitly preventive and practical of the four books here. It’s less about understanding the feeling and more about interrupting where it can lead.

Buy on Amazon →

Sexual Boundary Violations in Psychotherapy: Facing Therapist Indiscretions, Transgressions, and Misconduct

Edited by Arlene Lu Steinberg, Judith L. Alpert, and Christine A. Courtois, American Psychological Association, 2021

The other books on this page focus on managing attraction before it becomes a problem. This one looks squarely at what happens once a boundary has actually been crossed. It covers the process leading up to a violation, what happens to both client and therapist once it’s discovered, and the wider damage to colleagues, institutions, and the profession’s credibility.

Chapters approach the topic from multiple theoretical angles, including psychoanalytic, cognitive behavioral, and Gestalt perspectives. It also has specific chapters on violations in pastoral counseling and in the growing space of digital and telehealth practice.

All three editors have spent years specifically researching and writing on this topic. It’s the book to reach for after a violation has already happened, whether as the clinician involved, a supervisor, or an institution responding to one.

Buy on Amazon →